


home run

by spookyfoot



Series: yuuri week 2017 [7]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Sex, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Day 7, Humor, M/M, Sexual Content, Theme: Free Day, Yuuri Week 2017, katsuki yuuri: also a human disaster, this just in these two are perfect for one another, victor nikiforov: human disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 17:37:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11651439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyfoot/pseuds/spookyfoot
Summary: "Can I take a bite out of your downtown sausage." Yuuri chokes. He tries to cover it as a cough, but he's not sure how successful he is."I, uh." Victor Nikiforov wants to blow him. If Yuuri just ignores what Victor says and focuses on that fact and the fact the he loves Victor outside of… whatever is going on here. He’s just surprised. He can probably get fully hard. “Sure. Yes. I want… you.”Maybe he should stop judging Victor because he's barely doing better. And he’s still turned on right now."Do you want my throbbing man-meat Yuuri." Victor asks, drawing on all fours and almost tripping over his own knee. Yuuri has to bite his lip to keep from laughing._______________International playboy heartthrob sex god Victor Nikiforov is terrible in bed.





	home run

**Author's Note:**

  * For [renaissance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissance/gifts), [doodlesonice](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=doodlesonice).
  * Inspired by [first base](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11653377) by [renaissance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissance/pseuds/renaissance). 



> this fic has a twin! it's called [first base](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11653377) and it's by the amazing renaissance. we planned these together as different takes on a similar scenario and you should definitely go check it out! renaissance was a huge help with turning the concept i had into reality. 
> 
> ONCE AGAIN THIS IS LIANNE'S FAULT.
> 
> ALSO THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY IT WASN'T GOING TO BE EXPLICIT ORIGINALLY.
> 
> thank you to exile_wrath for the last minute beta!
> 
>  **NOTE** : edited 8/1/17 for style ect.

The first time Yuuri fucks Victor, it's awful. Yuuri's been imaging fucking Victor for all of his adolescence and early twenties—when he pretended the people he was _actually_ fucking were Victor.

They don’t go for penetration immediately. They’re in Beijing, and Yuuri is still caked in sweat, the Yuri on Ice costume sticking to his skin, JSF official jacket zipped up over it. He swears he can still feel Victor lips on his from the tackle kiss, even though it was hours earlier. One of Victor's arms is around Yuuri's waist and the other is sliding the key card into the door. It clicks open.

As soon as they're inside the hotel room, Victor slams Yuuri against the wall places both arms on either side of Yuuri's head and kisses him. Actually, Yuuri's not sure he can even call it a kiss. It's... he'd say it's like Victor's trying to eat his face, but Yuuri's seen Victor eat and it's a lot more erotic than this. Victor moves to his neck, which Yuuri _thought_ would be a little better since the skin there isn't a moving target.

Victor bites into the skin there like someone told him _Twilight_ was sexy. How is he supposed to cover that for his exhibition skate?

"I need to go shower," Yuuri yells. It echoes. Victor raises an eyebrow and runs a finger down Yuuri's chest—his nail gets caught on a sequin. "Be right back." Yuuri is still yelling, apparently he can't control his vocal volume anymore than Victor can control his tongue.

"I'll be waiting," Victor says. Yuuri thinks it's supposed to be a purr, but it sounds more like Victor's gargled with too much salt water.

He needs to regroup.

It's nowhere near the onsen, but Yuuri sets the shower to scalding and strips out of his costume. He grabs the nearest bottle—Victor's shampoo—and tries to repress that last kiss. He fails miserably.

There's only so long he can drown himself under the water—that doesn't stop him from trying though. It's still too soon when he steps out to towel off. He wasn't sure what to expect — especially after that — can he call it a kiss? After that oral interface. But he prepared himself just in case.

He steps out of the bathroom in just a towel. Victor's draped all over the bed, completely naked, like a statue made flesh and already hard. A spark skips down Yuuri's spine just imagining Victor waiting, touching himself. It's enough to push the Only Technically Qualifies As A Kiss out of his mind.

"Yuuri, come here," Victor says, still using that strange tone of voice. It sounds painful, in fact Victor's probably damaging his throat. The only reason he should speak like that is if Yuuri's just fucked his face. Yuuri tries to ignore any potential medical concerns and strides over to the side of the bed.

"Can I take a bite out of your downtown sausage." Victor peers up at him from under his eyelashes.

Yuuri chokes. He tries to cover it as a cough, but he's not sure how successful he is.

"I, uh." Victor Nikiforov wants to blow him. If Yuuri just ignores what Victor says and focuses on that fact and the fact the he _loves_ Victor outside of… whatever is going on here. He’s just surprised. He can probably get fully hard. “Sure. Yes. I want… you.”

Maybe he should stop judging Victor because he's barely doing better. Also he’s still turned on right now.

"Do you want my throbbing man-meat Yuuri." Victor asks, drawing on all fours and almost tripping over his own knee. Yuuri has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"Oh, yes. So much. More than a gold medal." Should he look around to see if there's someone about to cue up the porno music? Too late, Yuuri's not even fully hard but Victor's gripping his cock like it's a baton and somehow Yuuri’s rising to full mast like the tides have just come in.

What follows is the worst blowjob of Yuuri's life. He didn't know an abjectly awful blowjob was even possible but here Victor is, continuing to set records, even if they're the wrong ones. Apparently Victor meant "take a bite" literally because the blowjob is more teeth than tongue, there's plenty of enthusiasm but no finesse. Thanks to the enthusiasm — and the fact that it’s Victor — Yuuri still comes. Because if he had to list a sexuality on a survey it would be a firm (currently _very_ firm) Victorsexual.

Victor looks up, drawing off of Yuuri's cock with a pop and another scrape of his teeth. Yuuri winces.

"Darling, what's wrong?" Victor's face is covered in drool. He looks like Makkachin when Yuuri doesn't have time to play with him.

Now that Victor's not trying to gnaw on his dick, Yuuri notices the worried set of Victor's jaw.

But he still dodges the question. "I'm just tired. It was a long day. All that skating. The flip. The... other stuff. Let me get you a towel? And then I’ll take care of you.”

Victor still looks a little uncertain, but Yuuri presses a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’d really like it if you let me take care of you.”

This time Victor smiles, the real one. Yuuri gets him the towel, cleans up his face and sits back down on the bed.

"Do you want me to touch you?"

"Please." Yuuri reaches out to skim the tips of his fingers along Victor's thigh, from his knee up to his groin. He pushes Victor down so that he’s lying on the bed, then drops a trail of kisses down Victor’s stomach until his mouth is hovering just over Victor’s cock. Then he winks and puts years of practice to work. Victor comes in two minutes flat. When they’re both lying in the afterglow, Yuuri turns towards Victor, lying sideways with one hand propping up his head.  

“Would you sleep with me tonight?" He looks at Victor from under his eyelashes, “Please."

This time Victor smiles—the real one. Yuuri curls up around him under the covers and lets Victor be the little spoon.

When they get back to Hasetsu, he's going to have to do some research—a lot of research.

(As it turns out, all of the articles recommend communicating with your partner about sexual incompatibility. Yuuri's going to have to come up with another option.)

__________________

It keeps happening. Yuuri gives Victor the "best blowjob of his life," Victor asks Yuuri to "swallow my salami” before making noises straight out of low budget porn. Yuuri’s somehow, embarrassingly, incredibly turned on. He puts it down to Victor’s presence and not the dirty talk. Or… whatever talk. He's not sure there's an actual category for what's happening in their bedroom. 

Rostelecom is just around the corner and after a long day at Ice Castle, Yuuri’s laying on Victor’s bed while Victor’s in the shower. Makkachin is nestled up against his side and the warmth of her body is making Yuuri a little sleepy. But he wants to wait for Victor. Yuuri got good at sex through practice. A lot of practice. So many fraternities worth of practice. It’s only fair for him to give Victor have the same training—though not with hockey players.

(Victor _hates_ hockey players.)

Besides, maybe Victor's improving—he did give Yuuri a genuinely enjoyable hand job last night. But that might be because a hand job is basically masturbation from a different angle.

Victor walks back into the room, jinbei open in a deep vee. Yuuri knows that Victor does this on purpose — it’s actually pretty hard to get a jinbei to lay like that naturally — but he can’t deny that it’s working.

Then, without any pre-amble, kissing, or foreplay Victor says, “Yuuri, I want you to fuck me. As your coach, I can’t allow you to bottom during the season. So,” Victor prowls closer to the bed before sliding onto the mattress and straddling Yuuri, “give me your magic man meat.”

“Actually if you’re careful—you know what, never mind. That sounds great.”

Yuuri’s used to doing all the work anyways. He spreads Victor out beneath him, turning him over onto his stomach and grabbing lube from the bedside table before dropping a trail of kisses down his spine. Victor moans like he’s getting paid for it as Yuuri slips a tongue inside, followed by slick fingers as he works Victor open.

“Ohhhh, Yuuri, you’re playing my body like Chinese checkers,” Victor whimpers. Yuuri’s cock twitches, his brain is saying “what the fuck” but his cock is saying “fuck yes.”

Cock has far more blood flow than brain at the moment so it’s an easy victory.

“Don’t stop, make music with my body,” Victor moans. A this point, they’re lying face to face — well sort of. Yuuri’s got his face buried in the side of Victor’s neck as he’s fucking him, leaving a trail of blooming bruises from his collarbones to the soft skin just underneath his ear. He’s got his hand wrapped around Victor’s cock, and Yuuri can tell they’re both close.

“Make me your come bucket,” Victor moans as he comes. And Yuuri does. He’s never been so embarrassed about an orgasm in his life—including the time he had to replace his limited edition poster of Victor’s 2006 Turin freeskate after a particularly adventurous masturbation session.

Yuuri hides him embarrassment with efficiency; he gets up and discards the condom before grabbing a wet wipe from Victor’s nightstand to clean both of them off. Victor wraps his arms around him and buries his face into Yuuri’s chest. “Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

“… How good was it for you?"  Yuuri’s not sure what the hell just happened. Has he developed a kink for terrible dirty talk? He’s pretty sure the answer is yes, that he’d be up for anything if it was with Victor. Maybe Victor is his kink. 

Victor raises his head and swipes the pad of his finger underneath Yuuri’s eye, “Are you crying?” He smiles, coy, teasing. It seems a little brittle, some thing Yuuri would have seen on Victor's face months ago. “Are you one of those people that cry after sex? That's so sweet.”

“Yes. That's definitely what's happening right now.” Yuuri’s not questioning his and Victor’s entire sexual experiences. Not all. Not even a little bit.

Victor places a kiss right in the center of Yuuri’s chest. He’s gotten much better at it, in fact there’s barely any drool this time.

Yuuri bites his lip, steels himself, and then, “Victor, was that your first time?"

“What are you talking about? I do sex all the time.”

“Victor?”

It’s like Victor doesn’t hear him at all. “I mean I’m an international sex symbol. I have… all the sex. So much sex."

“Okay. I mean if it was, or it’s been a while, it’s fine I just—“

“Yuuri, I am an expert at sex—a sexpert.”

Yuuri narrows his eyes. “And how did you acquire this _expertise_.” He can’t keep the air quotes out of his tone, and he doesn't really want to.

“Some practical. Some academic.” Victor adopts an airy tone. It’s not very convincing.

But it’s kind of cute, seeing Victor be bad at something.

“Does academic mean porn?”

Victor waves a hand through the air, dismissive. “Porn. Romance novels. Soap Operas.”

“That explains a lot.” Oh no. Yuuri didn’t mean to say that out loud. Maybe he can just blow Victor and avoid this entire conversation. 

“What do you mean?”

“Just…sometimes when we’re intimate, it seems like you’re performing.”

Victor flushes.

“You are, aren’t you?” Suddenly, a lot of things slide into place.

“I’ve been performing my whole life,” Victor mumbles into Yuuri’s chest, “It’s hard to turn it off.”

“So sex is just another routine?”

Victor sits up, frowning. “Nothing’s routine with you.”

Yuuri runs a hand through Victor’s hair. He’ll meet Victor where he is. “Oh well, if it _was_ like a routine I was going to say, plus 3 GOE on the hand job yesterday, but you need to use your hips more when I’m fucking you.”

Victor smiles. Not the poster ready grin Yuuri’s seen for years, but the soft one that curls around the edges—the one that’s his alone. “Well then, I guess we’ll just have to practice.” Victor runs a hand down Yuuri’s chest, stopping just short of his cock. He’s already getting hard. “You certainly have the stamina for it.”

**Author's Note:**

> +mumble mumble i'm [katsukiyuuristrophyhusband on tumblr](http://katsukiyuuristrophyhusband.tumblr.com)
> 
> +ALSO WRITING PORN IS HARD PUN INTENDED

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [first base](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11653377) by [renaissance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissance/pseuds/renaissance)




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